Ahhhh Saggy Pants. Once the domain of returnees from elite boarding schools and the recently released from Rikers. Now the rage of the old money rich on Fifth Avenue. They say Adam Smith was the first to love his down low knickers. “They show my love for capitalism will never die” he explained. This according to his BFF, John the Butcher. “The lower you wear ’em; the more underwear you can sell.” Gotta love old Adam and his tea party powdered wig. Oh wait he came before them. Oops.
But anyway, today saggy pants have really taken over. There’s a rumor that Steve Forbes, editor in chief of Forbes Magazine, has promised to wear his food exit stained suit slacks nice and low. This while he plays with his toy boats at his high school alumni bash in November. “I know how Obama thinks” a security guard “says” he overheard Steve mumbling to his crystal ball. “He thinks I’m out of touch, but I’ll show him Steve Forbesie for suresie is the down low wearing pantsie.” So it goes. I guess Brooks School won’t see enrollment go up this year.
But besides on “Forbesie” (or maybe on “Mr. Apology” Dick Cheney), nobody wants to see a man with pants below his butt line. At least that’s what I think. Laws have been passed banning the Adam Smith inspired fashion trend, but still the style persists among young inner city robber barons and in modern prohibition entrepreneur circles.
But how do others feel about this pesty trend? Take my survey below so you can express your opinion!!! Best answers get an invite to Forbes Magazine Halloween bash. Tickets given at random.
All commentary expressed in this column and survey are the full responsibility of only the author listed. Word Press nor the CUNY School of Journalism are responsible for the comedic opinions expressed in this column about public figures or institutions.